Like Tar
by oaksoup
Summary: Comedy worlds are funny things when the TV is on.


"H-huh?"

…

Waking up far from his brothers was new. As were the wounds in legs and head, and new as the bandages over them. Damned them all, he was immobile by pain and pressure. He felt like an idiot, being trapped like that on a hospital –hospital, clinic? - bed.

Karamatsu wished he had a mirror in that moment. He was sure he needed some trimming.

The doctor, a calm, old lady, came soon enough – alone time was something he would have never, ever desired - and explained to him that a passerby called an ambulance and that he had a mild concussion among all other scratches and itches. They needed his personal info so his family would be informed of his presence on the small hospital he was so he chose to be especially _chuunibyou_ when talking. Two hours later he was discharged – they had been disgusted! Whatta success - without any news of his brothers or parents. No surprise there.

At least they gave him a nice cane. Not that he could pay it though, he could do it later.

…

Few steps into the street and onto the world. Damn his body hurt, and the sun wasn't helping much. Damn Chibita should have kidnapped him with his normal clothes instead of the normal slackwear, at least he would have his stylish sunglasses at hand…

Thinking in other _other_ things would make the scratches and bumps hurt less he was sure of it, but he had never been one to think through things too much, so dragging himself he went to the park near his house to see some girls.

Girls are healing saints with all their cutesy movements and desirable beauty, even if sometimes they seemed to despise him. This he thought to himself smirking to himself in what other people on the street saw as a somewhat pained grimace

At least this time he was sure Osomatsu would not appear behind to scare him shitless.

Nor that he could go though those goddamn stairs. The cane was nice but wasn't magic, so he decided to pose as stylishly as he could near a nice tree.

"Fufufu… those gangsters had nothing on me" – he waved his hair – at least what he could actually manage to wave, being all tangled on bandages- and said this, hoping some chick could have heard him being this cool. But people were too far from him to listen to words and he knew it. Wishing hurt nobody.

…

4 PM and the city was boring. No mysterious encounters, no arduous challenge more than dragging his leg and head that felt as heavy like the damned keg he was sure Ichimatsu threw to him. He always had a _thing_ for making him cry. He hasn't able to see who had what on his hands when they threw all on their house to his head but Ichimatsu was the only one who hate him the most.

But no time for tears again! Someone was talking to him.

"—wondering if your bandages are real, because you have this Royal Hipster…or maybe DQN? Chuunibyou aura all over you! Which is great! I'm looking for people like you to work in our new project." – a young female into a beauty attair, nails all trimmed and brilliant smile chattered to him, offering him a pamphlet.

"… Chuunibyou Coffee … hum." – Karamatsu received the impressive pamphlet, all anime-iffied people showing around a nice and new Café somewhere in the city. The girl winked at him, putting a hand on his shoulder and revealing a bit more of skin. He shuddered.

" Yes, exactly! ChuuniCafe is a new project of some friends and mine in which all people who loves that moe constant of chuuni can enter! And you have quite the look young man! But surely those bandages seem… - looking curious and pretty cute, she moved again the arm to brush the injured arm. Karamatsu shuddered again and trembled a bit, trying to not move that much. Being injured damaged his balance, and the cane still didn't have as many strength as he had - … real enough."

He looked at her for a very short time while he regained his composure.

"… Hum. This bandages are very real ma'am." – He posed as manly as he could, all on a cane and quite disheveled. Drama classes really paid off. – "You wouldn't know how terrible the fight I was in. Every scar is a raw display of my fierceness. It's a prize to my eternal search-"

"Huh? Yeah sure sure! You don't need to tell me now big boy." – the to-be manager winked – "You'll see my phone number in that paper, be sure to call me soon ok?"

And just like that she ran off to shower other people with pamphlets.

"… s-sure."

People surely were flighty these days. Then again, so were him and his family. With half a shrug and smirk he kept his difficult walk, putting the pamphlet in his sweatshirt's central pocket.

In between his walks and times sitting on benches he looked at it over and over again.

…

…

…

Later, much later than the chapter five last scene, Karamatsu found himself near Chibita's stand. There were no words between them, as he had some clients and Karamatsu considered himself a man of little words. But disregarding the dim lights of the stand and distance between them Chibita signaled him something, with some mouth movements included. Something about "Free food but just once!" and "later", with an OK signal.

Was not the complete idea, Karamatsu has never been the brain of the group. But that was fair enough. No thumbs up to do but a wave of his hair and he was gone again.

…

The Matsuno Household had few lights on, and in the main room there was Osomatsu and Choromatsu arguing about idols. He supposed. It was the only thing aside job hunting that made Choromatsu spark as he was in that moment. But their expressions changed a bit when they saw him all wounded… not that much in Osomatsu's case (at least nothing completely visible), but Choromatsu became frantic.

"A-ah! Karamatsu! What are you doing here!? W-we received a call from the Clinic some hours ago but they said you were gone—you didn't even had your cellphone with you!" – Choromatsu went behind him and forced him to sit on the pink hand-y- chair.

Osomatsu looked the kinda endearing scene while Choromatsu got a handkerchief from his pants and started to clean what he could from his face. Karamatsu did nothing nor talked for a while, he just looked at them.

"So Karamatsu, how was your day? Something nice?" – Osomatsu asked, all his tact being replaced by his usual tact for that kinda situations. Choromatsu looked at him angrily but found himself unable to talk back.

So it was that late?

Karamatsu adjusted his cast and looked to Akatsuka-sensei picture.

It looked back at him, he thought.

"… I received a **Big Chance** , Osomatsu-niisan. Maybe my destiny is calling me again."

"Huuuh? And what does that mean?"

"… _Fufufu_." – A dramatic (and rather painful) flair later, he got up from the chair with Choromatsu's help. He was glad he at least had him at his side this time.

He went to sleep, and a strange cat he was sure he had seen before (but where?) went besides him.

"You know that attitude of yours is no fun at all, Karamatsu" – he heard Osomatsu say from the main room.

"Don't be so stingy, it is kinda ou—" and he stopped listening to them, tiredness was washing his body and the pajama fabric felt so _good…_

He nestled up in the sheets between mean Ichimatsu and mean Todomatsu, who luckily were sleeping too. The cat put himself over him.

And before sleeping he heard a voice he never heard before.

" _I still love you guys but damn you are truly bastards."_

No one reacted.

Must have been his imagination.

He slept.

…

* * *

Tar floats for a while in water and then it sinks.

Karamatsu lies to himself, he's an actor afterwards.

He is also a matsu and never called for that job too.

Another day, another chapter it seems.


End file.
